


Beware the Noodles

by NamelessMoogle



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Banter, Confessions, Food, Friendship, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 18:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16540289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelessMoogle/pseuds/NamelessMoogle
Summary: Finally sitting down with a book and a snack, Gladio scooped out the cup of noodles and shoved it into his mouth. Something felt wrong… Very wrong. While the food didn’t smell any different than usual, the taste was far from what he had wanted and expected.





	Beware the Noodles

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't realize that I never posted this one on my current AO3 account until _today_.

Gladiolus Amicitia knew and respected the importance of balanced diet; nevertheless, he loved to spoil himself a little after a long day at work. It was after a series of rigorous training sessions and a relaxing shower when Gladio walked into the kitchen in his apartment to grab Cup Noodles. He took some slices of ham out of the refrigerator to further perfect the perfection the instant food already was to him. Then, he walked back into his bedroom for a moment to bring the book he had started reading the night before.

Finally sitting down with a book and a snack, Gladio scooped out the cup of noodles and shoved it into his mouth. Something felt wrong… Very wrong. While the food didn’t smell any different than usual, the taste was far from what he had wanted and expected. He chewed the noodles to see what was wrong. Even the Cup Noodles connoisseur could not fault the broth nor the ham; however, he almost spat everything out when his teeth dug into the noodles. Instead of the slightly overcooked wheat noodles he was familiar with, the noodles in his mouth bore a texture similar to what seemed to him like miniature Malboro tentacles.

That very thought threw Gladio off and he spat the alien noodles into the styrofoam container that had housed the Cup Noodles. Feeling disgusted yet morbidly curious, the young Shield looked inside the cup to check out the offending substance. He saw _noodle-shaped things_ , but couldn’t tell what they were. Gladio was staring at the container in frustration when he noticed something unusual on the label: underneath the famous Cup Noodles logo were the words _With Konnyaku Noodles_.

“What the fuck?” Gladio yelled out before he knew what he was doing. He had never seen -- nor heard -- the word _konnyaku_ before. The Shield of Prince Noctis had made a habit of doing his own grocery shopping. He would never waste his money on food he was unfamiliar with. Once in a while, however, Iris would bring in groceries for him, and his friends had helped him out as well. Gladio frowned as he realised that he had had the whole gang -- Noctis, Prompto, Ignis, and Iris -- over a few days before _and_ that everyone brought food. _Any one of them could have brought it here, and..._ As unhappy as the thought made him, Gladiolus Amicitia knew he needed to suspect all four of them at that point.

Gladio scratched the back of his head and took out his cell phone to dial a number.

“Gladdy!”

“Hey, Iris.” He paused for a moment before asking his sister, “Did you, by any chance, bring any Cup Noodles to my apartment?”

“Duh,” Iris responded, baffled. “Why would I bring Cup Noodles when you have, like, a million cups there?”

“Right. Just wondering. Thanks.”

“No prob, I guess?”

“Catch you later, squirt.”

“See ya, dork.”

Relieved that he wouldn’t have to accuse his sister of the offense, Gladio grinned to himself and dumped the cup containing the disgusting noodle-wannabe into the trash can. _I still gotta find out who did this to me_. He put on a jacket and stepped out of the apartment, towards where he knew the remaining suspects were: Noctis’ apartment.

Noctis and Prompto were at the table waiting for dinner when Gladio walked in.

“To what do we owe the pleasure, big guy?”

“Just checking on you, Prince Charmless.”

“We already have Specs for that,” Prompto chimed in.

“Who I don’t see here right now,” Gladio barked.

“I’m in the kitchen, Gladiolus.”

“Good to hear.”

“Whatever, Gladio. You just want something to eat,” Noctis said while smirking at the Shield.

“I do, actually. So… _Iggy_ , do you mind if I join you guys?”

The prince growled at the question. “HEY! My apartment. My dinner.”

“And you ain’t cooking, Highness. Your answer, Ignis?”

“Not at all, Gladio. Please have a seat.”

“Thanks, Iggy.”

Noctis frowned and pouted, but Gladio grabbed a chair and sat down as if he had seen nothing. The meal started and proceeded like any other they’d had together, with Noctis picking the vegetables out in a vain attempt to dispose of them, and Prompto and Gladio teasing and chastising the picky eater. Ignis looked at each of them, shook his head, sighed, and lifted his mug for the much-needed caffeine.

“Gladio,” Noctis started. “Why did you come here, really? I know you have food at home.”

“Well, might as well ask you guys now.” Gladio looked around to gauge his friends’ reactions before he continued, “Did any of you bring Cup Noodles when you all came over to my apartment the other day?”

Noctis was the first to respond. “What the hell? I thought you were like _the more, the better_ with Cup Noodles.”

“I’m just asking.”

“Doesn’t sound like ‘just asking’ to me, though. What’s going on?”

Impressed at Prompto’s intuition, Gladio admitted, “Someone planted shitty Cup Noodles into my pantry.”

The prince, along with his best friend and his advisor, gave the Shield a blank look for a moment. Then, to Gladio’s dismay, the three young men burst out laughing. Noctis wiped tears off of the corners of his eyes as he asked, “What kind of Cup Noodles were so bad that _you_ find them shitty?”

“...miniature Malboro tentacles pretending that be noodles.”

The trio started laughing even more loudly when Gladio gave them an explanation. Though angry, Gladio wasn’t surprised to see Noctis and Prompto laughing and wheezing. What he hadn’t expected, however, was the way Ignis, the ever-calm and ever-stoic Ignis, was laughing his head off.

“Gladio, Gladio,” the chamberlain said between laughters. “They are _not_ tentacles. Those noodles are plant-based products and rich in fiber. Hence, they contain few calories…”

Everyone then stared at Ignis in shock. 

“You. It was you,” Gladio managed to utter. “Why?”

“For your own well-being, Gladiolus. You are good at looking after yourself most of the time, but you consume those abominable Cup Noodles. It is a habit not becoming of the Shield of the future King of Lucis.”

“What I choose to eat is none of your fucking business,” Gladio said, clenching his fists. “I’m not Noct and you’re not my babysitter.”

Ignis nodded as he said, “You are right. But, tell me, Gladio: how do I stop worrying about someone I care about?”

“...pardon me?”

“How do I stop worrying about someone I care about?”

Giving a quick glance between Gladio and Ignis, Prompto said to Noctis, “Dude, we gotta get out of their faces,” took the prince’s hand, and quietly exited the apartment.

Gladio struggled to find a word -- _any_ word -- to say to Ignis, but he only managed to meet the green eyes with his own. “You care about me.”

“That I do.”

“Since when?”

“Since our first spar.”

“Shit…” Gladio reached out and held Ignis’ hands. “You should have told me.”

“I just did.”

“Smartass. You’re lucky that…”

“...lucky?”

“...that I care about you, too. But I won’t forgive you for feeding me a bunch of tentacles.”

*****

Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum was unable to return to his own apartment but had to stay at the Citadel that night. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Scream at me about my little fics](https://twitter.com/namelessmoogle1).


End file.
